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A swarm of thoughts

I have lost myself. There is too much I want to do and not enough time to do it in. I have taken on too many projects, which calls on me to prepare new layers to them every day. Every moment I am stimulated in a new way and my head is spinning with ideas. The collegues are so inspiring to follow and the aspect of coorporation is the best part. What a gift it is to be working with my math sisters! What a treat to learn a new word like EKPHRASIS and see Kasper bring it to life!! What a feast to have five staff-members help me with the genre-project. It is such a healthy practice to have a staff meeting every day. All my students seem to show more effort than usual. My heart is dancing. All my senses are stimulated all the time and combined with my tight schedule, hyped enthusiasm and all the props I carry with me, I lost my rucksack, my keys, my grounding and was dizzy going home. There are numbers of tableaus in the universe, which can allow us to find our grounding, our balance and yet I am completely off both of them. Not for lack of invitations, but for lack of time so far. May there be more time for that during the next week and a half. Otherwise I fear, that all my good intentions will fail to affect the students. What if it turns out to be all fun and games and no real learning? Right now it is not clear to me, what the outcome will be. Students say, that they want us to take this or that element with us after Sisters’ Academy, which I guess is a good sign. Could it be, that a large part of the attraction for the students is the fact that, there are finally enough ”grown-ups” to go around, who will take the time to talk to them? They are youngsters and young adults, who are trying to find their feet in the world, and the characters of the universe represent arch types, in whom they can mirror their own identity. Another attraction is the fact, that the characters are so fearless and uncompromising in terms of their poetic selves, that it becomes safe for us – teachers and students – to challenge our own boundaries and norms just a little. Their behavior and creation of the universe gives me permission to unfold my daftest ideas. At the same time, this aspect is one which can potentially warp the image that the project will have, inside and outside the universe. If we want to convey the message, that we play, act crazy, dress up, mock nature’s sounds and smells for a very serious purpose, it is not enough, that we say so. It should be felt and noticed by the students. How to achieve this??? To me, it has been liberating to call it an experiment. It has led to an open mindedness among the teachers to the possibility, that what we plan to do, may not necessarily work out, and any odd way of doing it can be as good as mine. But from my present position – which is ungrounded and slightly disorientated – it also feels a little scary.