Are you there?
This is what I, this individual, back to being that – walking and talking in the world outside – would like to tell you. Do you want to listen?
Because I will tell you anyway.
I would like to say that I would like to tell you that / I want to / stop / I want to / stop / saying / this / to you / I / would like to / stop / this message / I would like to stop / this / I / stop / this / I / stop / I would like to stop / this message / staying inside / for the time being / staying inside / the walls of the body / inside : holiday fevers
Meaning: Warm intestines lying around like snakes, curling up in other organs, soft cushions / stop / dripping / I tell this opening
I would like to seal myself / not saying / I / would like to invite you / to stop me / I want to invite you / to stop / you / from going / into this opening / don´t go / I tell you not to go / where I´m staying / it is lovely / outside
lovely / talking to you in this weird way
stop talking you say / I see that muscle´s contracting
my mouth is too, I would like to say this, I would like to / stop.
Abondoning this I is to strip for you, for someone I don´t know.
Pieces to take off, something to show you.
If you scrub off your skin, a new skin appears. You cannot walk around without any skin. You will be cold and bleeding. Please wear something.
Remove as many parts as you can.
Still, your tissue is loaded with memories.
Grab this tissue – you are lumpy now – and arrange it once again. The memories aching and bent.
In the shape of a lumb you meet someone, abstract and meaty as yourself, streched out on the floor. And you keep meeting.
How to be the same organism and how not to.
Now, you are zooming out:
You, yourself are part of a bigger creature. Membranes everywhere, meeting.
I would like to say we.
We are moving and we are each of us cells of a bigger being. Us – parts of the body – are ordered and kept apart by our skin. That is all.
And yet, there you are, glowing somehow. The muscle of my heart is kept active.
The pools of my interior splashing. Red holidays. A forever continuing chain of thoughts reaching back to vivid days, more vivid than they ever were. The grass was moist and green in all the parks I ever entered. You too?
Chains of thoughts reaching back to places you have no way to enter: Seperation. Two arms, two legs etc.
Besides me, hair is growing from the surface of a leg, more legs, all of them moving. Bones crackling like a celebration. A new lawn to rest my head on. I wish I could say ours.
I have so much to tell you but I am tired now. Do you understand what I´m saying? If not, please tell me. Please tell me something that you would like me to know: email@example.com.
and a quote from Lispector:
”I get so scared when I realize I lost my human form for several hours. I don´t know if I´ll have another form to replace the one I lost” (The Passion According to G.H.)